36 Weeks Pregnant Update
I can’t believe I’ve already made it to week 36 of pregnancy! The past couple months have really gone quickly. We finally moved into our new house and have been finishing up some of the remodeling and slowly settling in; it feels SO good!
Besides moving out of the house we’ve lived in for the past three years, some other big changes have happened since my last update! The biggest one is that we have shifted our birth plan from a hospital birth to a home birth!
I feel such a huge relief about this decision. We made this switch when I was around 28 weeks pregnant and it feels like the best decision for our family. I can’t wait to welcome our new baby in our nice new home. For those of you who don’t know, our first daughter Darlene was also born at home and so I was actually much more nervous about birthing in a hospital this time around. Especially with all the new rules and restrictions surrounding COVID in the hospital, as my pregnancy wore on I felt like more and more of my birth choices were taken away from me.
The main options that I desired were the choices of who I wanted to be with me for the birth, and the option to have a water birth if that felt right. These were options I had envisioned for my birth since before we got pregnant. Both of these choices were eliminated. My hospital, like most, was limiting the birth partner to just one person, and obviously that would be my husband Jade. I really wanted our daughter to be there if she wanted to be, and also my mom and/or my sister since they were with us for Darlene’s birth. I quickly learned that I would only have 1 person there at the hospital with me, but I was still hopeful that the hospital would allow for water births like they normally did. Around my 26 week appointment, during a Zoom appointment with one of the doctors (who I was meeting for the very first time, strangely enough, virtually) he informed me that the hospital was no longer allowing water births because of COVID. They were not allowing the woman who had the birth tub rental business inside the hospital, because she was one more “outside person” who could increase the rate of infection. With this option now eliminated, I felt extremely defeated and sad about the birth I was going to have. Even if during my labor, I decided that I didn’t actually want to push the baby out in the pool, I definitely wanted to have that option.
After I got off the phone with the doctor, I broke down and cried. I felt afraid of the birth I was going to have at the hospital, attended by a physician I may have only met one time for 5 minutes. That just wasn’t the level of care and intimacy I wanted from my birth attendant. With my first pregnancy, I had many appointments with my midwives, usually lasting over an hour each, where we got to form a relationship and feel very comfortable with one another before the baby was born. I am a firm believer (and evidence shows) that when a birthing woman is not comfortable in the birth environment, there are physical affects on her body. She won’t dilate and her labor may stall or even stop. I knew I wouldn’t be comfortable in the hospital room that I had never even gotten the chance to tour, with a provider who I barely knew. I would have my husband to support me, thank goodness, but I would be separated from our daughter and unable to relax in a deep pool of warm water.
I had originally wanted another home birth, but our financial situation during my early pregnancy made us feel like a hospital birth was the most practical choice, since our insurance would cover it and it would be 100% free. But after realizing how uncomfortable it was going to be, and how much more we’d rather just birth at home with midwives who we already had a relationship with, Jade and I discussed how we could make the cost of the home birth work for our family. All in all, since our insurance didn’t cover a home birth, the prenatal care and home birth was going to cost about $6000, which is a lot of money for our little family. But the truth is, money comes and goes, and it can always be remade, but you can never re-do a birth experience. Each birth is truly a once-in-a-lifetime experience and birthing mothers deserve to birth in the exact environment that is most comfortable for them. So we made the choice to switch to a home birth! I contacted my former midwives, and luckily, they had an opening for us. And they were even willing to make a financial agreement that worked better for our family!
Since switching to midwifery care, I have felt so much more relaxed about everything relating to my pregnancy and upcoming birth. I can now envision my birth goals clearly. I can see myself laboring inside our cozy little house, birthing in the deep, warm birth pool, and snuggling in our bed afterwards with our brand new baby. Everything just feels right and divine and I feel so so blessed to be preparing for another home birth. I could go on writing about this all day but you get the picture!
Another big change that has just happened is that we got a new puppy! Crazy timing, some might say! But we are loving being dog owners so far. Jade picked out a little male German Shorthaired Pointer from a friend’s litter up in Oregon, and he drove up there last weekend to pick him up! Ever since I’ve known Jade, he has wanted this breed of bird dog. He’s even had the name picked out since before I met him 7 years ago! Rambo, or Bo for short. Darlene has taken on so much responsibility for little Bo, and so has Jade.
I was a little anxious about getting our first family pet right before having our second child! Especially since Jade and I have never had a puppy together! I was more nervous about getting this puppy than having another newborn LOL. But so far, so good! Jade and Darlene have really taken on the brunt of the responsibility because they know that I’m completely occupied with being 9 months pregnant and finishing up little projects around the house. Bo sleeps in his crate in Darlene’s new bedroom and they keep each other company all night! I’ve actually been super surprised by how well Bo sleeps compared to how I expected. I thought we would listen to a whining puppy all night, but he sleeps better than Darlene!
Since Darlene still prefers to sleep in our bed (and honestly we all sleep soundly bed-sharing), we thought that having the puppy in her room might make her want to stay in her bed a little more. So far it’s been going well! She still wakes up and wants to come in our bed (again, I’d rather not lose sleep and just let her sleep with us) but Jade has been taking on nighttime duty and taking her back to her room, reminding her that Bo needs her to take care of him through the night, and he gets her back to sleep in her bed! So far it’s only been 4 nights, and poor Jade is losing lots of sleep, but Darlene seems to be waking up less and less every night! I think? I’ve enjoyed sleeping through the night wakings tho, because I know pretty soon I’ll be losing LOTS of sleep nursing our newborn all night long!
One thing I’m a little anxious about is that if Darlene notices that the new baby is co-sleeping with us, and she’s confined to her room after sleeping with us for over 3 years, that she might feel jealous or abandoned. But hopefully she won’t, and she’ll feel happy that she gets to sleep with the puppy in her room!
So the new house, new puppy, and new baby are keeping us very busy and excited, on top of normal life and work and chores, upcoming presidential elections, and pandemic living! What a year 2020 has been and now it’s the time of year I’ve been excited about since February. We’re living in our house that we’ve been remodeling all year long, and we’re about to meet our baby! Due date is October 25th, but I’m expecting to go over! My birthday is November 7th so hopefully we’ll meet our baby before then haha. And then the holidays which I love! I hope you’ll all finding time for your mental health and wellbeing during this crazy year and I can’t wait to share more good news once we welcome our baby!
xoxo
Bethany